[Carlug-discuss] MIT invents robot that "walks on water" Christains protest....

[Brandon Willis]

In a stunning display of their prowess MIT student researchers crafted a
robot that walks on water much like the water striders of the insect
world. (http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/nr/2003/robostrider.html)
Immediately there after Christians from Kansas, Arkansas, Oklahoma and
other southern states raised protest over the new "iconic robo-Christ".
One outspoken preacher exclaimed "They know nothing... Jesus' legs
weren't that skinny! NO! not that skinny at all!" whilst wiping his brow
feverishly; "How could Jesus have walked with legs that skinny. It is
truly absurd!". In response an MIT spokesman said "The experiments are
part of research supported by the NSF (Nation Science Foundation) for
investigation into what is called Dennyÿs Paradox. It is a complex fluid
dynamics problem and has nothing to do with religion." The newly formed
"No Robotic Christ" Organization (NRC) released a statement shortly
after the MIT announcement. It read "The NRC finds it appalling and
abhorrent that government moneys are being spent to develop a robotic
replacement for Christ. This will not stand. This aggression toward our
Lord Jesus. This will not stand. We demand that this research be stopped
and that government funding of this project be canceled immediately. We
further demand that funds equivalent to the moneys already spent be
ear-marked for education of the MIT student body to the fact that Jesus
Christ is the only entity that can walk upon water." In further debate
an MIT professor retorted "There is a whole variety of insects that walk
on water the water strider is but one of these." The NRC responded
quickly with "Faith is not based on reproducible evidence but on faith
alone." The NRC then announced the opening of phone lines to take
collections for a "Save the Children from the Robotic Christ Fund". 

[2 days pass]

The NRC held a sit-in protest today at the Stratton Student Center on
MIT campus. One NRC protester exclaimed "They're a trying to poison the
minds of youth in this here school and we's aiming to stop it." Grasps
erupted from the crowd of protesters earlier today as an MIT student
passing the protest suddenly fell down and doubled over after an
argument with one protester. Calls of "See the wrath of God!" and "Have
mercy oh Lord!" were heard from the protesters. As other students and
authorities rushed to the red-faced, teary-eyed, convulsing student he
was found only to be laughing hysterically and unable to draw breath.

...

--Brandon